Ageism Works Both Ways

We say age is just a number. But do we behave as though it is?

“Age is just a number” is meant to be positive.

It suggests that age should not determine what someone can accomplish, learn, contribute, enjoy or become.

Yet we are remarkably good at estimating someone’s age—and then attaching assumptions to it.

Sometimes we do not even need to know the number.

We look at grey or white hair.

We look at someone's résumé and count the years of experience.

We notice when they graduated.

We look at the positions they have held and approximately calculate how long they must have been working.

Or we look at someone who appears very young and wonder whether they could possibly have enough experience to be in the position they hold.

Ageism can work in both directions.

And sometimes we participate in it without realizing we are doing it.

A younger manager may be assumed to lack judgment simply because they haven’t accumulated enough years.

An older professional may be assumed to lack energy, adaptability or technological ability because they have accumulated too many.

Neither conclusion tells us very much about the individual.

Sometimes ageism even sounds like a compliment.

“You look young for your age.”

It is almost always intended kindly.

But think about what makes it a compliment.

We have already decided what a person of a particular age is supposed to look like—and that looking younger than that is preferable.

Before the compliment can even be given, the person has been placed into an age category.

Appearance matters more than we sometimes want to admit.

Grey hair on a man may be described as distinguished.

Grey or white hair on a woman can change how she is perceived entirely.

Nothing about her intelligence, ability, energy or relevance has changed.

Only the visual clue has changed.

The workplace adds another layer.

Age may never be discussed directly, but it can sit quietly behind questions such as:

• ✓How long will this person stay?
• ✓What will they cost?
• ✓Are they overqualified?
• ✓Will they fit the team?
• ✓Can we develop them over the next decade?

And perhaps one of the most underestimated questions is:

Will they fit socially?

“Team fit” is not only about doing the job.

It can mean going for drinks after work. Joining the group at social events. Sharing similar interests. Feeling as though everyone belongs to the same generation.

Someone considerably older can be unconsciously viewed as less likely to become part of that group.

But turn the assumption around and younger employees may be stereotyped as irresponsible, likely to party too much, unwilling to make a long-term commitment or lacking the discipline of previous generations.

Again, the stereotype arrives before the individual has had an opportunity to prove otherwise.

Then there is the assumption that certain abilities belong to youth.

• ✓Energy
• ✓Fast thinking
• ✓The ability to make decisions under pressure
• ✓Adaptability
• ✓Problem solving
• ✓Learning new technology
• ✓Thinking several steps ahead
• ✓Remaining composed when something unexpected happens

Those qualities are often associated with younger people.

But they are not inherently young qualities.

In industries where circumstances can change quickly—and where something almost always goes wrong somewhere—experience can be precisely what allows someone to react quickly.

Someone who has already solved dozens of unexpected problems may recognize the solution before someone encountering the situation for the first time even understands the problem.

That is not an argument that older is better.

It is an argument that age is a poor substitute for evaluating capability.

The reverse assumption is equally questionable.

When someone very young is appointed to a senior position, it can be tempting to think:

How can they possibly have enough experience to do that job?

That is age bias too.

Perhaps they have extraordinary ability. Perhaps they have developed skills faster than others. Perhaps they see opportunities that someone with decades of experience would overlook. Perhaps they earned the position.

We don’t know until we know the person.

Experience creates another contradiction.

Organizations frequently say they value experience.

But at some point experience can quietly become “too much experience.”

Someone with decades in an industry may hear:

• ✓“Overqualified.”
• ✓“Not the right fit.”
• ✓“We are looking for someone with more energy.”
• ✓“We want someone who can grow with the company.”
• ✓“Will they be comfortable reporting to someone younger?”

Yet when an organization hires an outside specialist, those same years of experience can suddenly become an advantage.

The questions change.

• ✓Can this person solve the problem?
• ✓Do they understand the industry?
• ✓Can they get started without months of training?
• ✓Can they recognize problems before they become expensive?
• ✓Will their judgment save us time, money or mistakes?

Same experience. Different context. Different perception.

And ageism doesn’t stop when the workday ends.

We make assumptions about what people of different ages should wear. What music they should like. Where they should travel. What technology they should understand. What activities they should enjoy. How physically active they should be. What relationships or friendships are appropriate. Even whether they need help.

Sometimes the intention is generous.

The assumption is still there.

And perhaps that is the most interesting part of ageism.

It isn’t always hostile.

It can appear as concern. Courtesy. Humour. A compliment. A hiring decision. A social invitation. Or simply a private thought that never gets spoken aloud.

None of us is completely immune from it.

We may object when assumptions are made about our own age while quietly making very similar assumptions about someone considerably younger—or older—than ourselves.

Age does bring differences. Experience matters. So does new thinking. Perspective matters. So does curiosity.

But none of those belongs exclusively to a generation.

Age itself isn’t the problem.

The problem begins when we believe the number—or the number we think we have figured out—tells us who the person is.

So perhaps the question isn’t whether ageism exists.

A more uncomfortable question is:

What is one assumption you have caught yourself making about someone simply because they looked much older—or much younger—than you expected?